i'm no longer sure if i wanted to do this..
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ahh so it's been so long since i've updated this blog. y/y?
i'm too busy with my livejournal and twitter and kyumin and kyuhyun :(
okay that was completely.... unimportant.
uhh so. i actually have many things to pour down here (wtf man i was furious yesterday) one of them is about the qmi fan(s), but i think i'm in no mood to be a bitch rn, so i'll let it pass.
just so you know, i'm still not happy with the fucking petition. fucking cancel it or i'll fucking kill youoh by the way!
MERRY XMAS gaiz! :DDDDDDDDD and god bless you. and is this supposed to be written on the end of the post? uh whatever.
laksfh there's no thailand this year :(( they just finished making the passport when the tour had closed. i wanna see fireworks in thailand! i mean, i know it's like no difference to see it in batam or in indonesia. but thailand might be more awesome right? so i guess my plan to visit my friend in sg on new year is still a go. i dun wanna spend my new year here, if i know there's another better place to go to spend the new year. plus, my friend offers me a place to sleep. so why not?
idky but don't you agree time flies so fast? it's like, last month was still 2010 and next month it would be 2011. this year's time flies the fastest, idek. last year it's so slow.
have you had your wishes granted for this year? :) yeah we all know we have wishes for this year right? the one that says 'i'll be like this like that on 2010!' or the 'i want to change this and that on 2010!'. have you accomplished all of that? because i think i did not. i don't even remember what my 'to-do-lists' are. i'm so pathetic, i know :(
so since next week will be new year and i don't think i'll be able to (or want to) post something here on my blog, i'll just list down the things that i've done for the year 2010.
1. i've improved my grades :))
2. i don't buy new cellphone (i usually change one every once a year)
3. i've made friends who are my enemies before
4. i've spent less money on malls and the kinds.
....oh shit there are thunders. i'll continue this if i have time! which is i have, i'm just refusing to write on this blog. livejournal and twitter addicted lately :( sorry.
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i just know that the words 'i like him' really hurt me alot.
why ?
because then again, the words
'i like him' will also go along with the line
'but he won't like me cos my hair isn't straight'and the line
'besides, he has a girlfriend'.
sometimes i feel mad, angry and pissed.
and these kind of questions were always echoing in my ears like they're music which was played repeatedly hundred times nonstop.
'why was i born with a long, thick, and ugly hair?'
'why was i born with very many hairs on my legs?'
'why was i born with a dark skin color?'
'i'm a chinese, why can't i speak mandarin and those kinds so that i'll understand what the fuck they're talking?'
and other thousands of whys.
and i believe, every question has answer. although it's just a simple 3 letters 'yes' or 2 letters 'no'. it's still an answer, afterall.
and eventually, when i finished praying before i sleep, i somehow felt that God gave every answers for all of my whys. because really, we all know God did something for a reason.
but of course, the whys, like i told you before, was like a music being played repeatedly for hundred times nonstop and those whys will plopped in my mind everytime i look my self reflection on the mirror. or while walking with my friends who has straight hair (i know they're not natural, but still the same anyhow). that feeling of low self-esteem will always be there like a shadow following me everywhere.
but still, we need to be thankful for everything that God had given to us.
i'm not becoming a God freak, or suddenly turning into a religious girl or what, but i'm just saying the reality of life.
and just now i think i had the most greatest moment in my life.
meeting my old friend, having a BBQ party at my friend's house in order to celebrate another friend's birthday party in advance. i didnt feel this kind of feeling for the past months, or even years. idek.
just.... tonight was like the greatest moment that i've ever felt (which is not true, cos i experienced other 'greatest' moments and i've forgotten the feeling of it). although it wasn't spent with the one i loved, still, greatest
is greatest, whether you felt it with your love ones or just random people you met at the street.
i got the chance to play the swing :) it's like, the last time i played with it was when i'm 4 or 6. or something. and just now i played the swing! cos i got friends to play with :) thanks fel, ren, and lita :) i know i'm being an ass, didn't let you to play the swing i played xD but.. hehe.
and the truth-or-dare-s. i pity myself for not joining the game till the end. :( i went home at 8 30PM when i was supposed to went home at 9PM. that's stressing :|
and guess what, felix did his dare perfectly! acting like a cat and meowing. OMG. gottalovethatboy :DD
YOU GUYS MADE MY DAY; dian, sharen, vina, sharon, budi, erlita, ed, elvin, erwin, felix, johan and pak willy :)
SHIT. ILOVEYOUGUYSSOFUCKINGMUCH. REALLY. although at the end it was just the eleven of us, i had fun. really.
sometimes i feel like i wanted to repeat today. the day when i was feeling one of my 'greatest' moments. but i know, like what the title of this post said, life should go on. i don't have any time machine. and wouldnt it be boring to repeat the same greatest moment again and again? greatest might changed to great only :)
and hey, greatest moment only appeared sometimes in your life, right?
so why waste it? :)
Labels: what i want to share
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klo ada yg pernah baca2 blog post gw sampe ke blakang, disana banyak bgt hal2 memalukan (dlu gw ga tau malu, so maklumin aja) yg gw post. i mean ky gw k GR an + gw ngungkapin rasa suka gw k siapaa gitu scara terang2an. take note:
gw GA bakal ngehapus tuh post. mau malu2in ky gimana juga ga bakal gw delete.itu tuh kenang2an, sayang bgt x klo dihapus. dan yg tertulis dulu dan yg skg tuh beda. jd klo lu dulu liat gw obviously suka ma si A, blum tntu gw suka ma si A sampe skg.
gitu aja sih. A_A
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omg. i just cant forget how he really smells. no, not that stink smell or whatever, but the distinctive scent of his. its just too fragrant that i can't even forget the smell. i... i.... i......... i think i'm falling in love with him. again.
i'm not being hyperbolic but i do love his scent.
Labels: what i want to share
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woops i think boredom went over me and i ended up writing this thing. kekeke~
i do NOT force you to read it, you want, you read, you don't want, so don't read.
*-*-*-*
1. i'm not good in english but i'm pretending that i'm an expert in it. that's why you'll see, i dont know, maybe 1/4 or 1/2 or 3/4 of my posts here in my blog were posted in english. i do speak english but i'm not that good.
2. i'm 14 and i read R &/ NC fics and i'm working on my fic with that kind of rating. (yes, i went there)
3. when i first get to know k-pop, epik high was the band whom i love so mucchhhh then it changed into dbsk (i got crazier in fangirling here as i bought 5 or more albums & singles & photobooks of dbsk and my mom got mad on me bcos i spent my money buying those things and i regretted it now) then changed into shinee (i want to buy their albums & singles & photobooks but my mom kept bitching and i dont want to get spat on my face by my mom. she warned me that i'm not allowed to buy such things like that again) (i went maturer here in fangirling as i watched their hello baby from ep.1 to the end and know more facts about them. before, when i'm craving the love of dbsk, i dint watch their shows and i only know simple things about them) then now it changed into super junior. (i got really really maturer here cos i've watched full house, EHB, even TV programs like star king, intimate note, and i know almost all of the kyumin moments that ever existed)
4. i'm one of the possessive fangirls. i dont like it if my friends also like yunho, onew or kyuhyun. and i got ever more possessive when i'm in super junior. when im still a shawol, i dont really mind to read jongkey, ontae, onho, or whatever else it is although my OTP is onkey. same goes with dbsk, i dont mind reading 2U, jaechun, or whatever else although my OTP is yunjae. but with super junior, duh, i don't read kyumi, kyuwook, kyuhae, kyusung, kyuchul, kyuteuk, kyubum, kyuhyuk, kyury, and other kyu-pairings. i only read kyumin.
5. angst is my favorite genre of fanfic.
6. i like to read one shot which has a long story and the story all started when both of the main chars dint know each other, and they met, and the conflict starts, and conflict end. get what i mean?
7. i
hate children.
8. i
hate animals.
9. i
love pink.
10. i like to edit photos but it always ends in a disaster T^T
11. i dont have a future.
12. i always get bitchy if im around the people i'm attracted with.
13. i first goes with straight pairings but now i'm deadly in love with yaoi.
14. i have somekind of kink fetish.
15. i'm easily attracted with guys but its hard for me to like someone. attracted and like has different meaning.
16. i like rainy seasons bcos its cold and sometimes on monday i dont need to attend the flag ceremony.
17. i hate sweating.
18. i hate exercising.
19. i hate the fact that i'm just 156cm tall and there's a possibility that i won't grow again.
20. i'm denying the fact that i'm better in memorizing rather than counting.
21. i hate blood and injection
22. i don't speak very well. sometimes what i said turned out to be incoherent words. T^T that's why i like writing more than talking.
23. siwon and jaebum are the hottest guys that i've ever seen.
24. YES to boys who have abs. NO to boys with big muscular arms. ewww.
25. i want to study taekwondo or karate or anything that i can use to protect me from danger (i mean, rapist.)
26. amillionsheep's Table Manner is probably the best fic that i've read.
27. i have no sense of humor. well, a little.
28. i laugh easily and i dont laugh like how girls supposed to laugh.
29. i love to dance but i dont like to dance at the same time *whatheck i know*
30. i love to sing, my voice isnt good.
LMAO i think that is it. i'll add some more if i remember something. xD
Labels: what i want to share
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i am not good at writing. i really am not. if i'm a good writer, i'd probably have 5 fics posted out there. but the truth is; i only got 3 (or 4) fics out there that i've posted and the reader didn't reach 15 people. yes i know im pathetic, but who could help it anyway? im not the one who wants that and if i can, i really want to improve my writing skill.
the problem why i suck at writing is probably because i can't get into the feelings. simple things like this; has never crossed my mind. ever.
instead of writing those words, i'd probably wrote; i know i'm such a fail and you don't really need to give me that look.
and so its a very very big mistake when someone said that im a brilliant writer cos seriously; i am not. i just like to write but it doesn't make sense at all. i mean, my piece of work. sure, i write loads of things, but it would end up far from the word success. i dont know what the hell was wrong with my methods of writing but it was always the same. i write; half way to finish it-i'm screwed and i'd stop writing and the fic was left abandoned.
and in my usb, i actually have 37 fanfics there. some were halfway to finished and some were merely just the start of the story. and i believe only 3 or 4 of them were done written.
uhh, and for some reasons, although i know i didnt write that good, i really hated the fact that i wasnt included in one of the best writer of the english essay. duh, i know i didnt complete it until 35 sentences, but that's a long piece of work. T^T but well i really couldnt blame the teacher since it was entirely my fault. the teacher asked us to wrote an essay with the topics: "Different Wonders of the World" and the other one was something related to the most important invention. i chose the invention because i seriously dont know what are the facts about the different wonders of the world (yes, the 7 wonders) and at least i know something about Thomas Alpha Edison. although the things that i know are only; what did he invented and about his hardwork trying to invent a bulb with 99999999999999th failed tries. woops, im exaggerating it. but seriously, everytime that the Physics, Math & Chemistry taught the class for the first time of the new school year; they would promote Thomas Alpha Edison by storytelling his hardwork by trying to make the bulb with hundreds failed tries and that we should be like Thomas Alpha Edison and they created the motto "1% genius and 99% hardwork". and for me its really stupid. duh, try to ask one of the autistics to invent something like, i dont know, flying house or flying carpet, maybe? and if one of them succeeds, thats the time that i won't rebel for what every stupid things that the teacher says. woops, i can receive bricks by saying like that. LOL.
Labels: what i want to share
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